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About Heraklion

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I plop down on the sand, and it’s like all my stress melts away. I see families, kids playing, and couples being all cute. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! I’m like, “Hey! That’s mine!”

Fig. 4. Nocturnal foraging dice snake in a semi-dry river bed, Zacharo,...